Yay I feel so accepted

I’m finally in a clan on Battlefield 3. And not a cheesy clan with like 3 people. An actual clan that plays against other clans and uses teamwork. Can’t wait to play with some of these dudes. And who knows, maybe I’ll actually win some games with some actually talented players. 

In other news, I get paid tomorrow and you know what that means. I get to take Michelle out for dinner at The Hoito restaurant for pancakes cause that’s what she wants. And what Michelle wants, she gets. I’m thinking of buying her an acoustic guitar too. We’ll just see what happens. Well off to work I go, have a good day everyone!! I love you!! 

FUCK I WANNA PLAY BATTLEFIELD 3

But my brother is playing Final Fantasy, he’s been up all night playing this shit. PLEASE let me play BF3! I haven’t even play Gulf of Omen yet. I need to blow shit up, knife some noobs, get into tanks battles, and mow down guys with my machine gun with extended mags and bi-pod. 

 

So excited I just can’t hide it

I persuaded my best friends to all get PS3’s, with mic’s, and the game Battlefield 3. Now we can all talk and play video games together like the olden days. This is going to be epic as moose ball sacks. 

 

Battlefield 3 players worldwide.

Are you sick and tired of the tiresome llamas and lazy cats on your team? Do you loathe for an awesome partner in crime that’s good at base raping, tank battling, and dog fighting? Then look no more, I’m here! I am awesome at basically all of the classes and all of the vehicles. So if you’re a team oriented Battlefield 3 player, shoot me that message RIGHT NOW! I’ll praise you with cheese and the finest whiskey's this land has to offer. 

 

To my Battlefield 3 avid players/followers

I got a headset now, so I can chat it up with you guys! I say lets play organized and awesomely. You protect my back and I’ll protect yours. I need a good gunner dude too, so if you’re good at gunning get at me. I also need a good wing-man in the skies. 

LET’S RAPE NOOB ASSHOLES, WE’LL TEAR THAT SHIT UP!! BOOM!! 

 

Attention, I want you!!

All Battlefield 3 players for the Playstation 3. I’d like to team up with you and play some Battlefield 3. We can seriously fuck shit up if we work together. Seeing how the main fundamental of the game is teamwork and not individual effort, it’d make sense for us to team together. 

OH, and if you’re an XBOX man, don’t go sending me anon questions telling me how much PS3 sucks. If you do, I’ll be sad. okay?

BATTLEFIELD 3 POST TIME

hahah. So I was flying that recon helicopter that you can’t shoot any guns with. So you have to rely on the side gunners to protect you. I was heading towards the enemies base and I spotted a small moving object, it was a fast moving jeep.

I looked at the picture of my wife and kids and thought of the times I spent with them. I shifted the nose of my copter into the fast moving jeep. And with exact precision and determined external force, I smashed my copter into these guys.  I can’t believe I actually hit them. haha. I kamikazeed the dudes in the jeep…RIP Master General Mason.

 

This one time, on Battlefield 3 

I was running through a forest with some Russian dude. And this tank came outta nowhere, and he jumped on top of the tank. And then he slapped a million pounds of C4 of top of him. And the tank gunner dude just couldn’t hit him, and then the tank started driving and he was still on him laying C4. And I was just laying there with my mouth to the floor in awe. And then this Russian dude jumped off and did a spinning back flip. And then the tank went BOOM! And the Russian dude was like “FOR THE EMPIRE!!”.

Ah good times at BF3, this is probably the worlds greatest game!

 

Another BF3 post..deal with it haha

Wow, can this game get any more intense. So I was driving a dune buggy with an Australian down a long desert road. When all of sudden this attack helicopter came at me. He decides to come fly at me. Then he crashes right in front of a speeding me and my online buddy. But his buddy ditches last second, but as he ditches I run his ass over. Then this crazy ass jet comes at me, he crashes his jet in front of me. Then get this…another fucking jet comes at me and crashes in front of me! AGAIN!

How come so many of my enemies decided to go on a kamikaze mission on me? haha. My online Australian friend was practically laughing and crying when I sped around these flying pieces of death around me.

Oh Skype and BF3, you’re my bestest friends.

 

I NEED SOME BAD MOTHERFUCKERS IN MY SQUAD FOR SOME KICK ASS TEAMWORK IN CONQUEST.

ANYONE message me with your gamertag and we’ll get this shit going!

“Leeetttssss geeeeeetttt ittt doneeeee!”


 

Rant rant rant rant rant

I swear to god I only get the stupidest chimps on my team for Battlefield 3. Nothing but stupid ass useless chimps. Why is that I always end up on the crappiest team while the other team plays like they’re S.W.A.T or the actual Navy Marines.

Like holy shit, is it too much to ask for a decent team for once?